as many of you know, today was the final episode of the final season of True Blood, made ever popular with the hastag #TrueToTheEnd or #GoodbyesSuck. so was it worth it? watching all 92 episodes until todays final episode? definitely, even if the final episode was as exciting as a ‘Murder She Wrote’ episode from the ’80’s. if you don’t know what that is, ask your grandma, i’m sure she still watches it on ‘oldies late night’ on TVLand, (5-7pm nightly). the final season started off really strong, with the Hep V vampires terrorizing more and more, culminating with every person left dead in a neighboring Bon Temps town. it was starting to look like an episode of Walking Dead; Hep V turning the world into a zombie-like apocalypse. but but, that all ended with the battle at Fangtasia, which was a good episode, but the True Blood excitement you’ve grown to love over 7 years ended there. what followed was 6 episodes of goodbyes and closure, but they didn’t even do that for every character. i appreciate not leaving the fans hanging-uh hum ‘Alphas,’ but really hurry it up already and get to the real reason we hang on every episode: the excitement, the cliff hangers, the twists, but noop, just long sappy goodbyes and concluding happy endings for most, even Twilight teen girls were like #lame (actual twitter quote). every previous season had some sort of hard, impossible adversary, something overwhelming that you just knew was going to kill a main character, and they usually did. but this last season, which really ended in episode 4, didn’t have that. the Hep V vamps were that, and should have been that through to episode 10, instead they stopped at ep 4 and switched to the Okuza, the makers of Tru Blood (yes, you spell it without the e when you are referring to the synthetic blood and not the title of the show). who cares about the Okuza? they really weren’t that powerful, even Eric killed 15 of them without blinking before he had the cure. it would have made more sense that the head of the Okuza was a vampire, hence the motivation to create & fund the product. in a previous episode they said that Louis Pasture created the synthetic blood, Tru Blood; why not have him be the head of the Okuza? it would have been really cool to have 2 adversaries, the Okuza & the Hep V vamps all striving for power, fighting over Sarah Newlin, ripping people out of their homes, killing them left and right, giving Sam a real reason to leave the town he loves. but noop, noop, just goodbyes for 6 episodes.
Bill the Vampire (Andy still calls him that) did NOT say “Soo-kie” in his usual voice, he did, however, say it in a soft dying voice. SUPER BIG ASS SPOILER HERE: so it would have been perfectly plausible to have Bill survive Hep V and become human. the dwarf doctor could have diagnosed that a portion the Blood of Lillith remained inert inside of Bill & mixed with Fairy blood & Hep V causing some sort of infusion, making him human; you know, if you wanted to have Bill & Sookie together forever, like many do. we didn’t get that. we got Sookie pregnant with some random dude we never met. we didn’t even see his face. he has a beard, that’s all we know. he could be a real douche or a warlock were-hamster, we don’t know. we’re saying goodbye to Sookie, but we don’t know if she’s in good hands or not. we do know that Bill really sucker punched her with emotional abuse in the final episode, asking her to use up her light and not be Fae anymore. anyway, they had a sweet goodbye, in the grave of all places. that’s still a lot to put on someone, poor Sookie, having to kill Bill (haha-waited this whole article so i could put those words together, and yes, a stake through the heart is an exploding heart technique), with a stake & then wearing his goo. killing the one you love, can you really move on after that? i’m surprised Sookie doesn’t have PTSD after all she’s been through. what? i warned you i would spoil it. this ending may have been a tribute to the author of the book series, ‘the Southern Vampire Mysteries,’ Charlaine Harris; as she never wanted Sookie to settle with a vampire; (she actually had Sookie & Sam end up together). and why didn’t Sookie’s Fairy Godfather appear to give her advice? he’s always watching & that is definitely his area. mmm…
the best part of the final episode, titled ‘thank you,’ (is it thanking the fans for watching 6 episodes of content that could have been edited out?) anyway..the best part was Eric driving the street racing import car from Tokyo Drift while rockin’ out, with the dead Okuza in the back seat. it was funny too, because it was a lot like Will Ferrel & Kris Katan, ‘A Night at the Roxy,’ “Oooo, baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more..” was the merry go-round scene, with Pam & Sarah Newlin, a tribute to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (no, not the tv show (Joss Wheadon / Sarah Michelle Geller), but the movie with Pee Wee Herman & Kristy Swanson)?
so we’re done, no more Sookie, no more Bill or Eric or Pam’s wit and sass. no more Jasonisms, like “pizza forensics.” no more fabulous Lafayette or Jessica saying, ” Hhhhhoy-Ttah” and everyone else we’ve grown to love over the last 7 years. goodbye Sookie, goodbye Bon Temps, love ya.